First, let's get the suspense out of the way. No bleeding, so for now, it looks like I'm still pregnant. I wasn't even keeping track of my periods, so I really have no idea how long I've been in this state - I'm thinking for some reason my last visit from Auntie Flo was December 5. What's that - 5 weeks? It really doesn't matter, because I am fairly confident this one won't last. Of course, I was really positive a few of the other ones were solid and were going to make it the full 40 weeks. Just goes to show how I know nothing about this baby making thing.
I feel the same way about political scandals. It all started with Clarence Thomas. I was an earnest college junior, living in a run-down blue house with 4 other girls. I guess we didn't have cable, or I didn't know about C-Span, because I vividly remember listening to the Anita Hill hearings on NPR. I was certain that Clarence "pubic hair" Thomas would in no way be appointed to the Supreme Court. I was also under the naive impression that Supreme Court Justices were like uber-humans who never picked their underwear out of their asses, either. It was inconceivable to me that any of those Senators would even consider appointing this fuckwad pervert. You can imagine my reaction when he was confirmed. It was the first time I thought that I just may have something to fear in this country of mine. Then came OJ, the Clinton blowjob, the (S)election of George Bush Part I, Chandra Levy, the Iraq war, the (S)election of George Bush II.
Wow - that's a digression. Suffice it to say, basically I'm wrong about everything. So I'm probably pregnant with triplets and they will go to full term plus 10 days and I'll be motherfucking all my waistbands 9 months from now.
I don't know why I would even think having another kid would be a good idea at this time, seeing that I seem to be doing irreparable damage to the one I have already. Today as we were pulling into our garage after picking him up at preschool, he told me he wanted to go to 7483. 7483 was our last address. We just moved in October of 2008 because the owners of the house we were renting decided to sell it while we were still living there. I said, "But we moved to this house. 43329 is our new house."
"But I YIKE 7438."
What the right response to that? I don't know, but I know what isn't: "But don't you like 43329?"
"I do not yike 43329," he said softly.
I bought this kid books about moving and read them to him several times a day, several weeks before the move. We did a whole goodbye routine so he wouldn't be traumatized. And yet we still fucked him up somehow.
Add in that the kid will only eat 5 foods and is scared to poop on the potty and I'm doing one helluva job.
This parenting gig is the hardest one I've had yet.