I called the doctor today. I guess I'm facing the fact that I am indeed pregnant again.
I got bumped from doctor office to insurance company to doctor office, and had to say multiple times, out loud, to complete strangers, "I'm pregnant." Every single one of them responded with a hearty "Congratulations!"
After living through several recurrent miscarriages, my joy is restrained. The plus sign on the pregnancy test isn't a cause for celebration. Not that the plus sign is always a good thing - I had plenty of friends in high school and college who dreaded seeing that particular mathematical sign. For me, though, the plus sign doesn't signal an end of my youth and freedom, or an inevitable trip to a clinic. It represents disappointment.
So Friday I'll go and start the process again, officially. Let's see what they say, huh?